I suppose i've been unhappy with my weight for a couple of years now, I have always been curvy and plan to stay that way, but my weight just seems to have creeped up and up over the past 2 years. I've tried all the diets and they work for a month or so but then ...... i go backwards.

Over past couple months i realised it was my attitude to food that was unhealthy, i use food & wine to reward myself when i've had a good day, and equally to comfort myself when i've had a bad day. It's my head that needs to change. I've spent a while looking into ways to tackle this and after numerous visits to the doctor i finally got the all clear to join a detox programme. I must abstain from food and drink completely for 14 weeks. I must drink water only and will get all nutrition i need from sachet i add to my water once a day. I will also go through therapy to understand why i eat too much ( i think it's because i like the taste!)

So.... as from now, i will not eat or drink ANYTHING except water for the next 3 and half months..... goodness.....

I really want to lose 3 stone by the end of the year.....

I will miss milk, i will miss mashed potato on a sunday and i will miss wine every minute of every day........ pffft

Dreams... I believe in my dreams, talk about my dreams, think about my dreams, plan for my dreams, create opportunities for my dreams, and I see myself already in my dreams.

The only way to achieve a dream is to talk about it, believe it, see yourself in it and create opportunities for it.

There is a great will-power that follows whatever you imagine. This will-power gets you going despite all odds and the dreams that are supposed to take you ten to twenty years to achieve are achieved in a shorter period.

Paper plans are not enough for dreams! Just see yourself acting out what you have imagined and by the time you get into it, you may think you are still in the process of imagination.

What you believe is what you achieve. What you imagine is what you become. What you think is what you experience.

That's all we are......

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7jQ4jO4AwFY

I swear. True, and I am quite sure, ever lasting something, if not love.

From the moment i spoke to him I decided I wanted him, truly and utterly wanted him. I met him, had a very brief talk with him and that was enough. He swept me off my feet. Completely. Literally.

That was a few months ago. I still ache to be near him, of course he doesn't know that.

Afterall, we're friends. Yes, bloody friends.

He is gorgeous beyond belief. Simply so beautiful. He is the man of my dreams. I didn’t know that I was looking for love until I found him. In truth, i didn't believe he existed, oh but he does. He is very intelligent too and very easy to talk to.

I've spent years, running around, suit, laptop, mobile phone in one hand, starbucks coffee in the other, narrowly missing oncoming traffic as i kamakaze myself across busy city streets, eager to get to where i'm going. I complained about being too busy to find him, too busy to meet him. Convinced myself he was an unattainable albeit wonderful figment of my imagination.

But his touch was very real.

I find myself looking intently at my laptop, almost willing and encouraging the 'you've got mail' sound. That lovely sound.

I am so interested, so interested in everything about him. I want to know it all.

I need a plan.